Hey guys! I hope you all are having a happy day and a wonderful summer! (And aren’t doing what I am. AKA lying around whining because the summer is half over and I’ve accomplished, what, like two? of my goals.😠)
All sad and gloomy things aside, I have something fun to share.
I’ve been tagged!
And so I suppose that means I am now (really and truly) an official blogger.
I’ve been chosen by the honorable Author Assistant Agency to be the recipient of a (much-needed) imaginary assistant! (Well, I mean I wasn’t directly chosen by them, it was more like someone else was tagged and then that person tagged me but that’s an insignificant detail.)
THE IMAGINARY ASSISTANT TAG
YAY!! This is so exciting.
I really just want to jump right into the tag but because I’m a law-abiding individual, I’ll go by the rules.
1. Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their blog (assistants won’t work for ungrateful bosses). Yikes. I’m glad I decided to follow the rules after all. Many thanks, Chalice! (The rest of you minions go check out her blog. It’s really cool…Chalice is an amazing artist!)
3. Tag 5-10 bloggers who need assistants (and if they don’t need them, tag them anyway). This is gonna be the hard one, seeing as I’m so new to the great, big blogging world and know very few people. Oh, well, I’ll see what I can do.
Please answer the following questions so the author assistant agency can find the right assistant for you:
1. What type of creature/species would you like your assistant to be (human, animal, dragon, dinosaur, figment of your imagination, etc.) and why?
A hobbit. I want a hobbit. I think they would make lovely assistants.
In case you don’t know what a hobbit looks like, here’s a lovely example.
2. What do you want your assistant to look like?
Well, hobbits are generally short with pointed ears and big feet…so something like this:
please have the decency not to comment on my lack of artistic skill…rest assured, i am painfully aware of my inability within that department
He’ll have blue eyes and brown hair and a big, happy smile.
3. What qualities are you looking for in an assistant (responsible, lovable, exasperating, etc.)?
He’ll be a talkative fellow, as most hobbits are apt to be, but not to the point of annoyance. Quite loyal to those he loves and although easily frightened, honest to the core of his little hobbit heart.
4. What job(s) would your assistant be in charge of?
His main responsibilities will be making me tea and buttered toast (a job that will suit him perfectly) and keeping track of all the important documents. He’ll also be in charge of making sure none of his visiting relatives run off with any of my valuables.
5. What would you like your assistant to be named?
Jeb. I feel like his name should be Jeb.
(idk, I’m really bad at coming up with interesting names, just ask my characters. they hate their names. they also hate me but let’s not get into all that…)
6. What would you feed your assistant (candy, books, pickles, etc)?
Also plenty of meat like ham and broiled fish. Cake, nuts, and pickles. Lots and lots of cheese. And because he’ll be something of a modern hobbit, he’ll like pizza.
7. How would you pay your assistant and what benefits would you offer as compensation for their work?
I’ll pay him with coins, of course. And I’ll provide him with housing, plenty to eat, and an occasional vacation.
If he happens to be a hobbit prone to homesickness, I’ll build him a hobbit hole and let him go off to see his mother every month.
8. What special abilities would you like your assistant to have (i.e. ice powers to freeze writer’s block, super strength to break writer’s block, or super stupidity to stare at you while you’re having writer’s block)?
I hope he is able to ward off procrastination with his Writing Wand of Wonder.
(I have no idea what that is or if it exists, but it sounds cool and helpful and I would get one if I knew where to buy them.)
And if he is a VERY gifted individual, he will wave his little hand and *POOF* this will appear, free of charge, complete with a never-emptying pizza-making machine and lots of bean bag chairs:
9. Where would you like your assistant to be from (Jurassic Park, Narnia, your head)?
I know your expecting me to say Middle Earth, but I think I’d prefer that he come from The Ununited Kingdoms. How and why he got there, nobody knows, but who cares anyway? He may know Jennifer Strange. Now, that would be something!
10. Will you solemnly swear to you will not fire your assistant in either sickness or in health, for richer for poorer, smarter or stupider, writing or not writing, for as long as you both shall live?
Who do you think I am?
How dare you assume I would ever fire my assistant?
I solemnly swear I will never fire my assistant regardless of whatever events may befall us.
Okay, now for the tagging…
Let me go rack my poor little brain.
The Story Sponge (Do you even do tags? I have no idea, but I’m tagging you anyways.😛)
Catwing (You don’t even know me but I stalk your blog so here’s a tag for you. *dumps tag in your lap*)
You guys have probably already been tagged for this. Well, sorry about that…*shrugs*
(At this point you may be wondering what Ferdinand and Olli think of all this? Rest assured, I had a big long talk about it with them and everything’s going to be okay. Of course they aren’t particularly happy with the thought of me hiring another assistant, but with some chocolate and a few extra hugs, I think they’ll pull through.)
And there you have it. I wait with great anticipation the arrival of my new assistant.
Until then, stay happy!