*comes bouncing into the room, scattering pizza dust*
How is everybody?!!
Due to the unfortunate mess-up last week, you’ve been seeing a lot of me recently. And for that I apologize, but I promise, once we get this post behind us, the schedule will return to normal.
Today’s post is going to be a little different. It has neither theme nor topic…really no point other than to amuse.
I will be dividing it into three segments.
First off, I have a very happy announcement, followed by an overview of my week and then I’ll end with 5 random facts about me. (Because I know that’s what y’all are dying to read.)
Part of the reason I’m doing this post the way I am is because my last post was deemed “forced” and “put on” by a certain elder sister (who shall remain anonymous) and this post is an attempt to reclaim my normal self and write something authentic.
THIS IS FOR YOU, SISTER DEAR. (You know who you are.)
On to my announcement.
My assistant has arrived.
And he’s perfect.
*runs around the room screaming*
Just look at him.
ISN’T HE ADORABLE?!!! GAHHH, he’s everything I imagined him to be!
Even though he’s only just arrived, Jeb has already been of immense help. His tea is simply scrumptious, he is very good at finding lost things, and his sense of humor is quite refreshing. As for his Writing Wand of Wonder, well, it is truly a sight to behold! (He has not yet fulfilled my request for a library and pizza-making machine, but I won’t expect that for several months. He’s only just got here and I don’t want to pressure him.)
I am also happy to report that he and the hedgies have been getting along splendidly. Jeb is fascinated by them and of course, Ferdinand and Olli are enjoying all the extra attention.
This is truly one the happiest seasons of my blogging life.
The Author Assistant Agency has fulfilled my highest expectations! If you ever find yourself in need of a writing assistant, I would highly recommend the AAA. The service is amazing and the people behind it are first-rate!
Go check them out.
Now, for the part about my week.
I’ve accomplished very little in the past several days, to be honest.
I was away in another state, communing with the fam over Labor Day. We (the parentals, my siblings, and the in-laws) had all gathered from far and wide to spend three days together which resulted in the playing of many games, eating way too much food and starting up our first annual Corn Hole Tournament. ( which turned out to be very competitive and highly amusing.)
My oldest brother and I were on a team together. We called ourselves “Henry and Hony”. (don’t ask. our family gives each other weird nicknames.)
We were an interesting team, considering the fact that my brother is really good at corn hole and I am TERRIBLE. I am not of the coordinated or athletic type. AT. ALL.
(Think flailing arms, contorted facial expressions, and unflattering groans and huffs. There, you have the picture.)
He would sink three right in a row and my bags would be flying hither and thither, not even anywhere close to the board.
It was pretty sad.
In light of this, it came as a shock that we made it to the finals.
No, I certainly did not scream for joy.
Okay, maybe a little…
And whether or not I ran around and cackled like a crazy person and attacked my brother with a hug is not important to this discussion.
Unfortunately, we did not win the tournament, Dad and Mom did. But we made it to the finals and for that I am, and forever will be, impressed.
We returned to our humble abodes on Tuesday. The trip home consisted of us playing dumb road games and trying to guess Trivia (we failed) and competing to see who could correctly guess Owl City songs by their intros.
Since then I’ve been busy with the 3 Ws. Working. Writing. and Wasting time on the world wide web.
And now, for the next, and final segment of this post:
5 RANDOM AND USELESS FACTS ABOUT ME YOU DIDN’T KNOW
1. I’m the youngest of eight kids.
They say I’m spoiled.
2. I have a phobia of water.
When I was nine or ten, I had a traumatic experience where I jumped into some really deep water and I thought I was drowning.
I have yet to recover.
3. I’ve cried over a dead mouse before.
Even though my family knows how much I love animals and hate when anything dies, one sunny morning my mom came to me and sweetly asked, “Will you please empty the mouse trap?”
I didn’t want to, but knowing how much she hates mice, I decided, out of the goodness of my heart, to yield to her request.
The problem was that we weren’t just using a normal mouse trap, it was a sticky trap.
Stick traps are evil. I don’t care what you are, if you have a heart and it beats, you don’t deserve death by this torture instrument. Even if you ARE vermin and carry disease.
That poor mouse. How could I NOT cry?
Google it. Find a picture of a mouse on a sticky trap. You’ll understand.
4. There is a picture of me featured in a Kingdom Pen article.
This one is for you KP peeps.
It was titled “The Better Books Survey Results-Part One” by Daeus Lamb and I’ve got a picture to prove it.
That’s me and those are my books.
Don’t ask me how they got that picture because I have no clue. (I should go ask my sister, she was the one who took the picture after all.)
Here’s the link if you are still in doubt: http://kingdompen.org/the-better-books-survey-results-part-1/
Honestly, I think it’s kind of funny because I was never a part of Kingdom Pen and yet there I am, plastered to the top of a KP article for all the world to see.
It’s my claim to fame, kids.
I know it’s not much of an accomplishment, but hey, when your a little home-schooler like me, you take what you can get.
5. My first ever completed story was about a girl named Clara who lived on a farm with her seven brothers.
It was garbage. Pure garbage.
I think I was twelve or thirteen when I wrote it and I can remember how proud I was of that thing.
It was the first book in a set of three and if I remember correctly, the series mainly consisted of one or the other of the seven brothers falling in love.
Yeah, it was weird.
One brother, (I think his name was Evan???) wanted to marry this girl but her dad wouldn’t let her or something and so he was really mad. Such drama. Such wow.
(And there was always someone pregnant. I mean, every. single. story. help the needy.)
I think I was eventually gonna start writing the stories of the second generation, (the brothers kids) but I ran out of motivation and just dropped it, which turned out to be a decidedly good thing.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, MY FRIENDS.
Happy Friday and see you all in two weeks!